I have this rather backwards tendency of both thinking too highly of myself while also maintaining a fairly persistent state of low self-esteem. I tend to think of this as "faux" esteem - I talk myself up pretty good but, when it really comes down to it, I may act certain ways but don't necessarily believe them myself.

One of my favorite facets of myself, however, is my ability to be a muse. I tend to force creative juices from people, both literally and figuratively.

Last night, I was extremely proud of myself. You see, it's been months since Bear and I have had any sort of satisfying intercourse.

But listening to him growl as he bit into my flesh, feeling how hard and solid he was as he slammed into me from behind... and knowing my acceptance of who and what he is has led to how comfortable we both can be is astounding.

It's the best drug there is.